Children's near-death experiences

by P.M.H. Atwater, L.H.D., Ph.D. (Hon.)

Researching the near-death phenomenon has been my primary profession since 1978. I use police investigative techniques as my protocol; to date, some of my findings have been clinically verified in prospective studies.

With that said, let's talk about kids. Child experiencers have the same range of episodes as do adults, but they handle them differently - sometimes in just the opposite manner.

Surprisingly, tiny ones still in the womb, babes being born, infants, and toddlers can experience the phenomenon as well. Once they are verbal, our smallest experiencers do their best to convey what happened to them - through speech, drawings, words on paper, or actions. The way in which their attempts to share their story are received, determines, to a large extent, whether or not their episode has a positive influence on their life or is tucked aside, ignored, or repressed. Although the pattern of aftereffects (both physiological and psychological) cannot be denied, the experience can be.

These tiny ones, via their expressions and language, show signs that suggest they may have identified with the otherworldly imagery and behaviors they were once exposed to, rather than, or in addition to, that of earth and their earthly human family. Their temporal lobes as they form, seem to build their "libraries" of shape, size, sound, smell, color, movement, and taste to accommodate the other-worldly models provided by their near-death experience. (The temporal lobes, located on either side of our head above our ears and closer to our temples, function as "libraries" in how they alter and update the input we receive - from the day we are born until we die.) This imprinting is augmented by sensory response and intuitive knowing to the extent that the child can seem wise beyond his or her years when, in fact, the youngster is simply responding to what feels natural.

Frequently, family and friends cannot account for the child identifying in this manner, or in having models of life and living different from their own; nor do psychologists have training in how to interpret what has happened to the little one. Here is a brief summary of the differences I have seen between how adult and child experiencers (especially the very young) tend to handle the aftereffects of near-death states:

Adults - deal with changes afterward, and the necessity of finding new reference points. They are challenged to redefine themselves and the life they live from another perspective. Before-and-after comparisons can be made.

Children - deal with the strangeness that what they encounter in the world around them does not match what they know and identify with. They are challenged to recognize the source of their uniqueness and accept the validity of what they have gained from the experience. What happened to them is the basis of all they know.

Adults integrate - Children compensate.

Contrary to my work with adult experiencers - where I found that it took most of them up to seven years to integrate their episode - I discovered that child experiencers can take twenty or thirty years or more to integrate theirs. This is not necessarily a gloomy thing, as compensating is the major way children have of adjusting to the changing conditions in their lives. Once they make such accommodations, however, it usually takes until their middle years before they question "why."

A child is perfectly capable of balancing two differing world views in a healthy way if they have supportive parents or relatives who are good listeners as well as talented at creating boundaries with an invisible "fence" around them, so that the child can explore and experiment without ridicule or feeling "foreign" or bad. This is done by being open and encouraging (without "squashing" or inhibiting the child), while still maintaining basic disciplines so necessary for healthy growth.

Many stories and observations about child experiencers, tips and suggestions on how to assist them and yourself (if you are a parent), are contained in my book The New Children And Near-Death Experiences (Inner Traditions/Bear & Co., Rochester, VT, 2003). What follows, though, are two cases that are not in my book, that concern the near-death experiences of two ten-year-olds, both girls.

Personal experiences

The first is about Ann, now a young adult living in New Jersey. I'll let her present her initial story: "When I was ten years old, I was nearly electrocuted and had a near-death experience. I was perched on the top bar of my back yard swing set, when I lost my balance and began to fall. Immediately above my head was a 220-volt electrical wire, which I grabbed onto, to prevent my fall. Well, the voltage went through my body for about four minutes, at which time my father turned off the main electrical switch in the house. I then fell almost to the ground, while a neighbor who had heard the commotion came running and caught me. He handed me to my mother who carried me into the house where my father performed CPR on me and I revived.

"I remember my spirit leaving my body through my head and traveling straight upward to an open tunnel, which was dark but not scary. I was traveling at a very fast speed and after a while the tunnel became transparent. I saw specks of twinkling light and other spirits traveling in tunnels parallel to mine, some upward and some downward.

"Next I reached the end of my tunnel and began to free float in one spot in space. I felt this incredible feeling of unconditional love permeating my body. It was something so wonderful that I have never experienced before or since. I looked around and saw the wide expanse of the universe all around me. On my left was the figure of my recently deceased grandmother, wearing a flowered house dress, just like I remembered her on Earth. She spoke telepathically to me, saying, 'It is not your time. You have mission. You must go back.' Then directly in front of me was a huge cloud of light. A kind, loving voice spoke telepathically to me from this cloud. The voice was indistinguishable as male or female, and said, 'The choice is yours. You must decide.' I knew at that instant that whatever decision I made would be okay. I didn't miss my family or have any regrets about my life on Earth. I was perfectly happy to just stay there for all eternity, but my grandmother's comment had made me realize that there was more that needed to be accomplished in my life. At that instant, I was swooped away back down the tunnel and soon hovered above my ten-year-old body. I thought, how could I ever fit into that tiny body? Finally, I remember waking up with my father learning over me and my family staring at me.

"The doctor soon arrived at our house and indicated that I was a very lucky girl. I only have one scar on my hand where I had grabbed the electrical wire. I suffered no brain damage or other burns or ill effects. So, I believe that I must have also received a healing, because the normal outcome from such a jolt for such a long period would have been quite severe."

A fuller account of Denise and her family (SEE Sidebar Denise’s Story) is on my website at www.cinemind. com/atwater. Their's is an ongoing story with many lessons for all of us about not judging each other, about what unconditional love really is and how to express it. Her father, Doug, wrote a book about the experience: Possibilities. . . Lessons From The Spirit. The family now travels and does what they call "book reviews," where they meet with people and the "miracle child" shares her story - what happened to her and what is continuing to happen. Their website is publishinghope.com.

We can all benefit from what this family went through in accepting their "new" daughter. Near-death experiences are not simple, irrespective of the episode's length or storyline. They challenge our beliefs, stretch our minds, and demand that we face possibilities that seem unreal, unnecessary. Once our loved one recovers from whatever the health problem or accident was, we want life to once again be "as is." Some experiencers are able to fulfill that urge; the vast majority are not, especially kids. Most of the young come back rewired and reconfigured, a puzzle to their parents and school teachers.

I am gratified that more and more counselors, therapists, medical staff, and educators are now using The New Children And Near-Death Experiences as a guide in addressing the conundrum of children who now think outside the box; who abstract at tender ages, no longer fit the typical classroom setting, and display what is sometimes labeled ADHD when nothing of the sort applies. You can use what happens with child experiencers of near-death states as a model to better understand the millions of youngsters now being born that way. I am currently working on a book that addresses these new ones and what may really be going on throughout our population and the world. Terms like "Indigo Children" fall seriously short of describing the phenomenon. If we are to understand the kids of today, we, too, must think outside the box and reconsider what we think we know about ourselves and the process of evolution.

P.M.H. Atwater, L.H.D., Ph.D. (Hon.) has written many books about her research of near-death states. They are: Coming Back To Life, Beyond The Light, Future Memory, Children Of The New Millennium, The Complete Idiot's Guide To Near- Death Experiences, And The New Children And Near-Death Experiences, We Live Forever: The Real Truth about Death.